Quote of the day "He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good."
-Jewish Proverb

"Have yourself a very Merry Christmas!!!"
Christmas is my favorite time of year! It's a time to remember Jesus birth. A time to celebrate with family and friends. A time where you can use gifts to express your love and appreciation. I hope your Christmas was full of joy, love, and that all your Christmas wishes came true!
Mele Kalikimaka!

So much to say...

I feel like I have so much on my mind right now I don't have anywhere to put it! Anyone else out there ever felt like that??? I'm sure it's a feeling that has occurred before me. My life is at such a crossroads. (Maybe not a crossroads but I can't think of a better word) I have so many things I want to do and need to do. The time, money, inclination, or motivation just can't seem to mix at all! I feel like I have yet to finish anything in my life. Anything mildly important that is. How exactly does one make all these things work and work correctly? Recently I have just felt that I missed a major portion of training for my life! Like there was a class, study group, or crash course I was supposed to get but I apparently got lost on the way to that as well! I know God has a plan and is control. I don't doubt that at all. I doubt me. Which in a way could be a good thing. A way to remind me to lean on God more. (Which I'm pretty sure I've slacked in) Is there really not a better way to go about all this? Or is all the confidence and togetherness I see around me a facade? I have a lot to figure out and none of it is very new. So why haven't I figured it out yet??

On a different note Christmas is closing in quickly!! Yaayy!! I really do love Christmas. I just have a couple more gifts to buy and then I can wrap them! I love picking out gifts for people. Finding that perfect gift. It's so much fun to me! I want you to be shocked and excited when you get my gift. It doesn't have to be your favorite of everything but I want you to know I thought about it. Christmas was always fun at my house growing up. We always had extra people over and it seriously was an all day event. I have great memories of Christmas. I think that is part of my love for it. A friend posted a list on Facebook of her grownup Christmas List. On it she had things for others and nothing material. I think I am going to have to make my own list.

What is on your grown up Christmas list?

To eat another pancake breakfast

It has been a long emotional week. Late monday night my sister and I got a call from Hawaii (where I'm from) and my adopted Grandfather had been taken to the hospital unresponsive. At first I thought he might have a chance and texted my mom to let me know when she knew anything. She called me at midnight to tell me that he was gone. He had went onto the porch with a glass of wine to watch the sunset and when my grandma had gone out to talk to him he was slumped over, the glass shattered on the ground, and not responding to her. When the ambulance got there they tried to administer CPR but he was gone.

It hit me really hard. He was 93 years old and he wasn't blood but he meant a lot to me. He had a long and full life full of so many experiences. I spent a couple days a week with him in junior high as he tutored me in math, english, and science. He would tell me story after story of people he met being a pilot. About growing up on a farm and going to a one room school house. How he came to Hawaii and was on the Aloha Airlines airfield the day Pearl Harbor was bombed. It was so much fun spending time with him and even hearing the same stories over and over again. I would spend some weekends there hanging out with his grandaughter and he would always make us pancakes for breakfast. They were the most amazing pancakes ever. Even if we woke up late we would ask him to make them for us and he loved doing it.

When it hit me that I would never have another pancake breakfast again I broke down. It is hard to lose someone and Grandpa Howard was the first someone I lost that really meant something to me. I do have the comfort that Grandma believes he had the Lord and we will see him in heaven. But I still call expecting to hear him answer "Dorothy's answering service..." and wishing I could go over for another pancake breakfast.

Quote of the day "You can't change the past, but you will ruin the present by worrying about the future."

I needed this today. I can be a worrier. Just ask Edi and he will tell you exactly how much. I try not to but sometimes I get so caught up in trying to plan and see where things will end up. So not good for me and it does tend to cause more frustration than good. I really need to better at trusting God and letting things be. Now I don't need to quit doing what I should but I can trust better than I have.

Happy Thanksgiving!

What a wonderful holiday! Good food, family, parades, more good food, fun tv shows, and so much more! I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving and I hope you do to! Don't take anything for granted I know I have. I am blessed beyond measure and thank God for it!

And now bring on Christmas!!!

Quote of the day "It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you are not."

Ya...that plan hasn't gone so well

My last post I was going to start working out and I really really meant to and wanted to! But...it only happened once. Sigh... I didn't wake up in time to workout in the morning and it didn't happen after work either. I am going to try this week though! I am slightly more motivated now after eating a ton of sugar the past few weeks. Pumpkin Bread Pudding is amazing by the way. Only problem is I ate most of it by myself!!! Oops! Definitely need to work off those calories!!

I also talked about school and that got messed up too! It was a week let me tell you! Apparently the suburb I live in doesn't count as residency for any of the closest community colleges!!! Which means it's way more expensive and unaffordable! I am going to take once class this semester but after that I have to figure something else out.

The one plan that worked this week is that I got the pictures Edi and I took. They look amazing and I'm so glad we got them done. I must say we look pretty darn good!

My Uncoordinated Life

I am very uncoordinated in general. I trip, fall, drop things, lose track of what I'm talking about, and am just all around uncoordinated in everything it seems. Recently, I have felt that I am uncoordinated in my daily life as well. It's like I am not accomplishing anything at all. I am getting rather sick of it. It seems ridiculous that I can't finish a non fiction book, get a work out schedule, get registered for classes, or any of the other million little things. If you haven't already figured it out I am a procrastinator. And lately it SUCKS!!! I mean it has never completely helped me but it seems to have gotten worse.

I want to and I am going to start changing that. Sigh...it seems rather daunting. I am going to work out 2-3 times a week at least. My sister is going to help keep me accountable because she is going to work out with me. I am going to finish the 3 devotional books I have started in the past year. (one at a time) I am going to register for classes for the next semester and I start that process tomorrow. I am going to coordinate my life! I would say I hope but that is not being positive. I'm thinking baby steps...baby steps will help. I do have small motivations for things as well but I don't feel like getting into those. I will let you know when I actually accomplish something!!!

Wisdom from a 4 year old

My last semester at college in California I was blessed to be able to spend basically everyday off campus in a real home with an amazing woman and her wonderful children. She shared a prayer from her 4 year old and it was exactly what I needed for today, after this week, and preparing for next week. He thanked God for the hurts. He prayed for church, and his family, then thanked God for his friend having a cut on his head, his dad being away, and his little brother being sick. He doesn't realize what he is saying but he still got it right. God is in control no matter how often we as adults forget it. Why not thank him for what he is doing in our life even if it may hurt. It truly is amazing though how the wisest things come from children. So before you finish your week or day thank God for what you aren't thankful for.

Eat, Pray, Love

I just watched this fabulous movie this week and plan to read the book soon. It was long but so good and in a way inspiring. If you don't already know or can't tell I am in love with quotes and this movie was full of them! It was a wonderful story line about finding yourself and who you want to be and I really related to it. That is something I am doing right now, searching for who I want to be. If you know what I mean. =) A quote from the movie really stuck out to me. "Ruin is a gift, ruin is the road to transformation." How many times to we go into despair because our plans are ruined or anything else that pops into your mind is RUINED. When in fact it isn't ruined it just needs to be transformed, changed, amended. My plans were ruined recently when my bf decided to change his R&R destination. His decision makes sense and is best for him and I will still get to see him but my plans were RUINED and I was pissed. I did cool down but looking at it now they were never truly ruined. I could have claimed that if I wasn't going to see him but all I have to do is transform my plans. My life may have some ruined spots but they are better now because I transformed them. So maybe ruin isn't such a bad thing after all...maybe it just means that something better is to come. Don't get me wrong the ruin can still hurt but most the time what comes next is amazing.

We must always remember

"I hear people saying we don't need this war
But, I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start your preaching let me ask you this my friend

Have you forgotten how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside going thru a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

They took all the footage off my T.V.
Said it's too disturbing for you and me
It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say
If it was up to me I'd show it everyday
Some say this country's just out looking for a fight
Well, after 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right

Have you forgotten how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside going thru a living hell
And we vowed to get the one’s behind bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

I've been there with the soldiers
Who've gone away to war
And you can bet that they remember
Just what they're fighting for

Have you forgotten all the people killed?
Yeah, some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten about our Pentagon?
All the loved ones that we lost and those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry about bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

Have you forgotten?
Have you forgotten?"

The first time I heard this song by Darryl Worley I teared up. The military have always held a special place in my heart and they automatically come to mind. How often do we forget everything that they and their families sacrifice for us to have the little things. Nine years ago the war came to us, on our land, in our homes, to our locals. Are we still remembering and fighting? This morning when I woke up the first thing I thought of was the one I love deployed in Afghanistan and how I never want him forgotten. He and those in his unit are there for me and you. Have you forgotten?

Best Quote of August!

I saw the best quote last month. Like a lot of quotes I have found recently it was on Facebook. It is so true and I hope you enjoy it!

"No matter what you think of me, remember it bothers you more than it bothers me!"

New Baby!!!

Wow...I haven't posted anything in a LOOONG time. But I have been very busy. My new nephew Jimmy Wray came into the world on August 26th at 9:34 am at 4lbs and 14oz. He was only 32 weeks and is still in NICU but he is doing so well. The doctors expected him to have to have a blood transfusion right away but he made it to a week and only had to get 35 ccs which boosted his color and numbers. He is a beautiful baby and such the little warrior. I've been there while the nurses have been drawing blood and he doesn't make a sound. We are hoping that he gets to come home early next week. Since I live with Jon and Keiki I have been there through this rather difficult pregnancy. Keiki has been joking that I will never have children after this. While I will admit to being a little more apprehensive and nervous I am not completely against it....there was one night in ER with Keiki listening to a couple other ladies it did cross my mind though. I can't imagine what my sister is feeling right now with so much going on with her baby but prayer and God have brought him so far already I know he will be home soon!

Summer Time

So...I haven't been very good at keeping up with posts on here. It has been a very busy few weeks. Sometimes I just wish for the days where I actually had a summer with days to relax and all the fun stuff. Since the last time I posted I have gotten a few days off. The most recent ended just yesterday. One of my best friends from college got to come up and visit me for a quick 3 day visit. It was fast but oh so much fun!! We shopped and ate fabulous food, got lost, found antique earrings, had great talks, and relaxed! It was a wonderful vacation. And the next step is to get everyone else I know to come visit me!!! Michigan isn't that bad people! I live here!!!! So...there's the hint get planning!!!

Quote of the day "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

Quote of the day
I think....
"Ignorance is never the answer to a question."

The reason for the I think part is this is from a fortune my friend Rebekah and I found tonight but I don't have the paper to double check, so we will just assume. :)
At first this quote or fortune sounds totally bogus (pretty sure that's exactly what Rebekah said) but once you think about it you can see the deeper meaning. Not knowing or being ignorant is never an excuse. You have to step up and get the questions answered. You can't just expect the answer to come to you.

Quote of the day. "To get something you never had, you must do something you never did."

I feel like I accomplished a lot this weekend! I really didn't do much but I got everything on "my list" done.
This is a big deal for me because a lot of the times I feel like I don't get anything done. There is so much I need to do. I'm starting a blog, I need to get things going with school, I want to look for an apartment, and that's just the important stuff.
Part of my accomplishments this weekend is I took both my phone and laptop in to be fixed at the apple store. My phone piece of cake :) my laptop is "on vacation" for the next week or so. I am already going through laptop withdrawls! But this will probably be good for me. I spend a lot of time on my laptop not doing anything important and that probably hinders me from doing what needs to get done. So let's see how much I can get accomplished this week!!!
I am still tweaking my blog and that will slow down this week since no laptop. (I am posting this through my phone) I spent over an hour this week trying to put a slideshow on my blog and still haven't figured it out! Hopefully I will suddenly be able to figure that out when I get my laptop back.
Sigh....this is going to be a long week!!

Quote of the day! "Life is what you make of it. So make it ROCK!!"

Now where did that thought go??

Earlier today I had a brilliant idea for a blog. It was eloquent, put together, and my thought process just flowed perfectly! But many hours later when I went to write it the eloquence and inspiration were gone. (I probably should add that I was quite angry when I had the inspiration this morning) It was going to be about letting things go and I started writing it but could not get everything to come out right. Maybe I will be able to finish it later. I do love my last line though. "Maybe I care or have cared too much. But is that really such a fault?"

I am going to have to start writing things down when I get an idea because I can lose my thought process so quickly! I already know this and you would think this morning when I was spouting off to my work buddy I would have maybe jotted a few things down. No...I guess I thought that I was upset and irritated enough to remember. Negative! It looks like this blog thing is going to be slightly more than I thought....

Some of my Favorite Quotes

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as heck don't deserve me at my best."

-M. Monroe

"She is not perfect, you are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other."

-Robin Williams -Good Will Hunting

"If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought and could be."
-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope."
-Walter Benjamin

"If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one."
-John Galsworthy

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself."

-Unknown

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces."
-Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones Diary

"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality."

-Ayn Rand

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
-Sam Keen

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara De Angelis

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."
-John Mason

"Distance is not for the weak; it is for the strong. It's for those who are willing to exchange a lot of time alone for a little time together with the one they love. Distance is for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough." -Unknown

"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we care about leaves but the truth is it's not our loss, it's theirs because they left the only person in the world who would not give up on them."

"God is not looking for PERFECTION but He is looking for progress!!!!"

"Living takes a lot of growing up......"

"Life is what happens while you try to plan."

"Hate is easy; Love takes courage...."

"Sometimes, I live in a fairytale, but then, my good friends remind me that its not really true, because people die in fairy tales."

" Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back..it simply means that you are 2 steps ahead..."

"You can never find the right person if you can never let go of the wrong... But at the same time... The moment you feel like letting go... you remember why you held on for so long. Sometimes you have to forget what you want, and remember what you deserve."

**I am not sure of all the authors of my quotes. Any quotes that do not have a name attached please assume they are unknown or at least unknown to me.

Giving it a shot...finally

So, I have been saying for a few months now that I thought it would be neat to start a blog. Not because I think I have something amazing or profound to say but to try and get some thoughts out and organized? I am trying to find myself. Who I am, was, and who I am going to be.

I don't have a theme for my blog...it's going to be more of a this is just my life or lack of. =) I think it is going to take some time for me to really start posting real blogs but I will start with quotes. You know how I LOVE quotes!!

I don't really have anything else exciting to say right now. My inspiration is very tired and emotionally drained but maybe later. I am getting a few thoughts as I finish typing this up. For those that do take the time to read this thank you for "proving" your part in my life.